Let me first start by apologizing I haven’t written anything for a while and I need to get back to writing. I debated in my head whether or not to write this blog because well I like to fancy myself as a MAN and that means ” we don’t show emotion” right? Then I remembered why I started this blog, I started it because I used to be in an incredibly dark place and thanks to the Lord I found my way out of that place. I write this blog to open up my life so that if there is anyone out there who may read it and have felt the same way they may get some comfort or solace in knowing they are not alone. So with that being said here we go:
Before I started my weight loss journey I was a very lonely person I was unhealthy and extremely unhappy. I think in a lot of ways I just didn’t love myself. For years I had nothing more than surface relationships with females because honestly if I didn’t love myself how could I ever love someone else? My unhealthy view on myself and life even at one point got me to a place where I started feeling like maybe not having love in my life or a significant other was just not in the cards for me.I looked at all my friends who found their wives in their early to mid 20’s and were married and having kids and was very jealous.Here I was approaching my 30th birthday and not only was I not married I didn’t even have a girlfriend. I felt like maybe God’s plan was for me to be alone and sadly enough at one point I actually got to a point where I was ok with that. I know now that ABSOLUTELY was not God’s plan for me that was my unhealthy living and mindset clouding my judgement. As I embarked on this journey of weight loss and self discovery my confidence in myself and my love for myself came back and things began to change.
My friend and author Ruthie Dean wrote a blog about me in which she asked me about my dating life and I came to a realization, How could I ever love someone else the way they deserved if I didn’t love myself? As I began to feel better about myself I began to get back into the dating world for the first time in years. I even put myself out there for internet dating which I absolutely would have never done before because of insecurity. That was absolutely the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. 
This past January I met a girl who would change my life. We started talking and hit it off immediately soon there after we had our first date and have never looked back. Not only did she come into my life but her young son came into my life as well which has been absolutely awesome!
I’ll be honest it didn’t take long for me to realize that this relationship had the potential to be something very meaningful. We clicked immediately and I had never been with another girl who I felt like really loved me for me. She encourages me more than anyone I’ve ever been with and even though I can be a complete goofy moron at times she loves me no matter what. I looked at my friends and their wives and I never really understood how when you get married your wife becomes your best friend and your “boys” become second. This is the first time in my life I have experienced that kind of love , she is the first person I think about when I get up in the morning and the last person I think about when I go to bed at night.You add that in with the fact that her little boy has absolutely stolen my heart, I mean basically I had never had a chance!!!
It only took a few months before I really started feeling like this was it and I had the found the love of my life and the women I was supposed to marry. Flash forward to this weekend and there I was on the cusp on asking someone to marry me something just two short years ago I didn’t know if I would ever be doing. I took her to the spot that I told her I loved her for the very first time and got down on one knee and asked her to marry me and…. she said YES!!
When I looked into her eyes and she was overcome with emotion and I could just see the love in her eyes , that was without a doubt the happiest moment of my entire life. I have never been a person that was “Career” driven, I want to be successful and to be able to provide but the thing I wanted most in this life was to be a husband and a Dad. Now with Emily and Preston I get the chance to be both and I am incredibly happy and blessed because of it.
I know sometimes things get dark and it’s incredibly hard to see the good in life. I lived a good portion of my life feeling that same exact way. I promise you that if you are in that place tonight it gets better , for me it was my weight that helped give me the confidence and love myself again. Maybe for you it’s something different that holds you back and makes you feel unworthy but I promise you if you can conquer whatever that is for you , happiness isn’t far away. I conquered my demons and here I am the happiest I’ve ever been and I get to marry my best friend and be the Dad to a precious little boy. You can be happy too.
